Dear You,

This is probably hard thing to do, because I know you would come across to this site. But I have to do this, because after all, I really feel the need of divulging these burdens within me, or else I just don't know what worst I can do.

First, I would like to clarify myself that I am not fighting back anybody. Its just that I am not fond of confrontations, I hate that. I know myself that I can't handle things right in confrontations. Because I know how to weigh things silently even without any words to say, I swear I really can feel things that aren't right. 

I used to like you, as a matter of fact I felt that we can be good buddies someday. I just don't understand of who changed first, what make us changed and when that changes happened? Too many questions, diba? because that's exactly what I am now. 

These are the things that I really don't want to see you doing.

• You both seems to have YOUR OWN friendships. You keep on talking and talking (silently) and then eventually both of you will laugh silently even if I am beside you. I know this is sounds paranoid, but this behavior makes me feel that I am out of the place, where the fact I am just sitting beside you. I am sure you both don't want that as well.
• When I am talking to you to ask something or just to clarify something or whatever the reasons that I tend to approach you. You seems deaf for not hearing me at all. Ending, I need to repeat what I am saying to just find your answers to my query. I have noticed that  you don't treat others that way. It stresses me! because, I tend not to speak the whole day long, because I am too mad. 
• Just today, you said that I am a job digger. I just can't accept that. Thanks God for my husband, I know I've got a tranquilizer in his being (winks to him). I just don't see the point of saying those words. You know what implies me for those words, that you hate me for taking place of what are your previous responsibilities. Please, bear in mind that I am not like that, I will not grab any responsibilities unless otherwise given me the authority to do that. 

I am sorry, because I know that I shouldn't feel this way since it is indeed 9 days left before Christmas. But I am hoping and praying that next year, or if God permits the circumstances we might have each other's closeness again before the vacation started. I am not rushing myself, because I know that I am not ready to mingle again. Please if you happen to read this, don't just tell straight to my face. I just want change!!